I'm Not a Liar- I'm Not
by oooSilverWolfooo
Summary: I'm not a liar- I'm not. She doesn't have to know. If she asks, I'll tell her- but she won't ask because when I'm with her, I'm fine and there is no reason for her to ask.


I'm Not a Liar- I'm not

Ch 1

I have never lied to Riley; really, there is no point of it. We have known each other ever since I can remember, and she knows every single thing about me. Well, almost everything.

Riley has this tell when she's lying (actually a lot of tells), and anyone walking across the street can guess that it's a fib. For one, she giggles this cute nervous laugh and twists her fingers in her shirt. Another thing she likes to do, is draw closer to me- sometimes hold my hand.

She is just not a liar.

I on the other hand, am great at lying. I have been doing it my whole life; it comes easy to me. If a teacher asked if someone was picking me up at Kindergarden, I would lie and say that my mother was. They would believe me.

If someone asked me if I was okay, I would lie and say that I was perfectly fine. They would believe me.

But I don't lie to Riley, well aside from saying that I did my homework because she already knows that whatever comes out of my mouth would me a load of manure.

I'm a great liar, but not to her. She knows if I lie so I just don't do it; there's no point. Besides, if she asks if I'm okay, I don't need to fib when I say that I am amazing because when I'm with her, I _am_.

She can never find out about what I do though; it would break her. I _would_ tell her- if she asked. But she doesn't ask the right questions to know, so she never will.

Keeping things hidden isn't lying.

See, I do something, something bad, when she's not around. I can't help it, I really can't.

Riley is like the sun. Bright, warm, cheerful and when you look directly at it, it stuns you. The sun is always there, a constant so you don't think about when it's gone, until it is, and it's dark and it's cold.

Riley is my sun and she could keep away the darkest shadow in her brilliance. But when she's gone, darkness surrounds me, I'm cold, and my light is far away where she can't save me.

If she knows what I do, why I do it, she would break, and if my sun blinks out, the shadows will never let me rest.

This is one thing that she can't save me from- myself.

I'm not a liar- I'm not. She doesn't have to know. If she asks, I'll tell her- but she won't ask because when I'm with her, I'm fine and there is no reason for her to ask.

….

I breath in a deep breath as I'm about to walk out of my bedroom, sucking in the slightly smoky smell from leaving the window open all night. The sickly fumes make a wave up my nose as I swing the bedroom door silently open.

The apartment is empty except for a few wine bottles knocked over on the floor. A wine glass lays spilt on the rug and I know that I'll have to clean it later.

I shuffle across the litter-ridden room to the front door and slip out, not locking the door because I know that my mom forgot the key. It wouldn't matter if we got robbed anyway.

The subway is bustling with life this early in the morning- adults rushing to get to the office and Street performers beating enthusiastically on buckets like they are drums.

I watch all of this with half interest as I try to ignore the anxiety tightening my chest. Only one block to go before I see Riley. Only one block to go before I'm alright again with me far out of the reach of the shadows.

I ring the buzzer at the front of my best friend's apartment building and only have to wait for a moment before the lock on the door clicks, and a familiar perky voice statics out of the square device on the wall.

"Come on up Maya!"

I pull the door open, and my feet find the way to the right door easily. It's pulled open as I get there and skinny arms wrap around my neck.

Just like that, everything bad is gone. The anxiety lifts, and I can breathe again, and I smell chocolates with what can only be described as sunshine.

I smile into Riley's chocolate hair and hug her closer. Everything is okay.

"Hey Pumpkin." I greet enthusiastically.

"Peaches." She says, and pulls away.

I drag my eyes from my best friend, forcing myself to acknowledge the other people in the house.

"Hey Mrs. Mathews, Mr. Mathews. Hi Auggie."

Mrs. Mathews turns from the stove with a pot in her hand, something that looks like oatmeal inside it.

"Maya, have a seat!" She says smiling.

"I'm alight; thank you though." I say, closing the door behind me.

She looks back up as she plops some of the food into her son's bowl. "I wasn't asking." She says, gesturing to the empty spot.

A smile forms on my lips as I follow Riley back to the table, a feeling of gratitude warming my body.

It's not just Riley, I realize. All of the Mathews make the bad go away. Mrs. Mathews- caring and motherly, sweet little Auggie and his innocents, and Mr. Mathews- always teaching me and never giving up on me.

He doesn't look at me like I'm stupid or just another troublemaker. He looks at me much like his own daughter, and that means almost as much as Riley's friendship.

I'm not I liar, but I would lie to them if they asked. They can't know; no one can know. They would blame themselves for this.

The spoon pauses half way to my mouth and I can't help but brush my fingers over the sleeve, pulling it down further.

Riley, of course, catches the movement. "You okay?"

Her chocolate eyes are wide and innocent. She lives in Riley Town, a place of fairytales and happiness.

I can be there too. Just us in the world- she had wished that one time.

I smile. "I'm perfect," I say taking a bite of the bland breakfast, but I hadn't eaten and this is filling me up. Mrs. Mathews took time out of her own day to make it.

She cares.

Riley stands after wolfing down her meal and disappears into her room to retrieve her bag.

Mr. Mathews stands, kisses his family and me on the head and walks out the door with his briefcase. Everything is perfect.

My hands tighten at my sides.

As soon as I go home, that will all end.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you enjoy my story (I had started it a few years ago and just now deciding to look at it again). I had started this back in season one of Girl Meets World so this is when it is taking place; they are still in middle school and there is no triangle. Please review!**

 **~Silver~**


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